Twelve Tips for Successful Habit Shifts
What are habits and how long does it take to create a new one?
Habits are simply behaviours we have learnt that have become automatic.
They are a product of our human system which needs to automate things in order to deal with the ridiculously large amount of information and decision making that we are faced with every day.
They are only really a problem when they are unhelpful or unhealthy for us – such as bad eating/exercise habits that are affecting our health and wellbeing, or thoughts and behaviours that might be keeping us ‘stuck’ in a way of living that is leaving us feeling discontented, unfulfilled or stressed.
Why are they so tricky to change?
As adults – it can take quite a while to take on new habits, because we’re often not only trying to start a new behaviour, but also to let go of old ones – just think about driving and how many little things have crept into your driving behaviour that probably aren’t the ‘correct’ way. If you want to start doing it the correct way, having done it another way, you need to stop doing it the wrong way as well as start doing it the right way.
It’s also true that many of the ‘bad’ habits we have are there because they reward us in some way and often they are require less thought/effort (a little bit of short-lived ‘happiness’ from a glass of wine or the chocolate, or the ease of sitting in front of the box-set versus getting out for a run in the rain!).
A brilliant way I recently picked up somewhere of describing this process and why it can seem so difficult is to imagine all the neural pathways of your habits as being like well-worn paths in the jungle of your mind.
You want to take a new path, which not only means no longer treading the easy, big and wide path that has been cleared, and which you can navigate with your eyes closed, but ALSO having to do the work of clearing a new path – hacking away at all the undergrowth, stubbing your toes in hidden roots, getting scratched, hot and sweaty – it’s hard work!
And because it’s hard work, and the easy path is just ‘over there’ it takes effort, and conscious will, to keep going in this new, overgrown and at times difficult path
Plus, you’re not entirely sure what this new path is going to look like, or how it’s going to feel walking it, it’s full of uncertainty. So it takes trust and a real reason to want to forge this new path to keep showing up to make it happen.
It’s also worth knowing that there is a body of research that shows that ‘willpower’ is not in never-ending supply. And whilst you can boost your natural levels, if your life is already full of things that are requiring a lot of conscious attention from you, you will almost inevitably find it harder to maintain willpower in trying to put in place new habits on top. It’s not your fault, it’s just how it is it seems!
12 Tips for Successful Habit Shifts
So how can we help ourselves create these new behaviours, making it easier for us to succeed in adopting new habits?
Acknowledge and accept that the new habit you seek won’t likely happen overnight. It takes longer than you probably think for new habits to become fully automatic – on average about 66 days (just over 2 months) – but if it’s a particularly stretching new behaviour it might take much longer. Definitely worth remembering when you’re 3 weeks in and telling yourself ‘it’s not working’! If you enter into the process with the long-game in mind, knowing that this is normal for it to take time, you will find it easier to be patient and kind to yourself.
Tackle only one BIG habit change at a time: so trying to lose a stone in weight AND get a new job AND completely overhaul your exercise regime so you’re doing high impact every day when you currently do nothing – makes it more likely you won’t achieve any in the long run.
Look for small changes first: It’s much easier to change 10 things by just 1% than it is to change one thing by 10%. So for LLL for example – if you are starting from a total beginner place with your nutrition, rather than totally overhauling everything all at once, start with the things that will have the greatest impact and that are the least complicated for you to implement. That way you will start to have success and that will reinforce you continuing and taking on bigger challenges.
If you’re taking on a big and challenging habit change, then break it down into smaller milestones. So if you’re aiming to lose 2 stone in weight, start by targeting yourself with the first few pounds, then the half a stone, etc…Commit with intention to making the new habit stick by saying you WILL do it not that you will TRY.
If you’re not sure what difference it makes, try this: Next time you want a cup of tea, will you make it, or will you try to make it?
Write it down. And write not only what you will achieve, but also why you want to achieve it, AND where and when you are going to do it.
Research shows that when we clearly commit to what we want to achieve, we succeed 29% of the time. If we add in why we want to achieve it, success rates go up to 39%. When we also tell ourselves when and where we will put these new behaviours in place, success rates rocket to 91%.Place you new habit intention somewhere visible. This is a nudge that will keep reminding you. It could be a post-it on your lap-top/computer or fridge; it could be a daily reminder on your phone; on a white/chalk board or at the top of your ‘to do’ list; you could even make it a password or a screensaver on your Devices!
Actively Schedule time into your days to practicing the new habit. We do the things that we put in our schedule/diary, so put time in your diary specifically for this, even if it’s only 10 minutes some days.
Find a way to anchor your new habit to something you already do: so for example, if you want to strengthen your pelvic floor by doing Kagel exercises, say you’ll do them straight after your shower, or cleaning your teeth or while the kettle is boiling for your morning cuppa.
Look for Micro-nudges and tweaks you can deploy: Be conscious about what is visible and readily accessible to you: in other words make the things you want to be doing easy, and the things you’re trying to stop more difficult: so if you need to drink more water, have a bottle/glass of water on your desk/table so it’s easy to access, and it serves as a visual reminder; If you want to give up eating biscuits, hide the biscuits (remove temptation) and put the fruit and nuts within easy sight and reach.
Have a plan for the sabotaging things: be proactive about identifying the thoughts and distractions that might throw you off your goal progress, and actively put in place a measure for dealing with that situation. For example: if part of your LLL goal is to give up alcohol (either for a while or totally) but you are due to go to a wedding where you will be encouraged to have a glass of bubbly or two, decide how you will deal with that situation. That way you will know what to do/say ahead of time, and you’re then much less likely to cave in.
Visualisation and Affirmations – Visualising yourself being successful with the new habit in place can be very helpful, as can using affirmations that boost your confidence in your ability to persevere. Check out the ThinkUp App.
Pay attention to the small successes and celebrate them just as much as the big ones (especially at the beginning!): celebrating even the smallest success is a great way to boost your confidence and motivate you to keep going.
What other tricks do you have up your sleeve for staying motivated and persevering when you’re trying to adopt a new habit? What are the things that you find most difficult about creating new habits? I’d love to hear if any of these are helpful!